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Minggu, 26 Agustus 2012

A Gay Feeling represented in the poem entitled ‘Hurt to be Gay’



Gender and Literature Studies
by: Mustika, Hening, Imam


Gender has been defined as in terms of status, sex roles, and sexual stereotypes (Hawkesworth, 1997: 652). Hawkesworth (1997) mentions that Joan Scott defines gender as a concept involving two interrelated but analytically distinct part. He continues ‘Gender is a constitutive element of social relationships based on perceived differences between the sexes, and gender is a primary way of signifying relationship of power’. Gender deal with masculinity and femininity. Hirschfeld and Ulrichs introduce the term of ‘normal’ that masculine men and feminine women were thought to be ideal types, the opposing poles of a continuum of human sexual and gender expression. Heggie (2004) also depicted that the image of masculinity in The Sowdone of Babylone as knights are constructed as masculine when they are in a heroic, knightly role. Moreover, she continues state that women are depicted as feminine when they perform the roles of daughter, mother, servant or wife, but when they move beyond these functions in order to aid knights, fight or promote Christianity their identity becomes more problematic. The problem came when the concept of boys should be masculine and women should be feminine not placed in the right discourse. For instance, if we found that a boy who is feminine sides more dominant than masculine sides or vice-versa, our point of view looking at them as strange. Thus, ambiguity in gender identity emerge alternative sexuality such as LGBTQ exist which considered deviant or pathological since the groups of that people not follow Heteronormativity that accepted in the society. Sexuality is related to sexual orientation whether homosexual and heterosexual. In this paper, our focus concern in homosexuality as one of the alternative sexuality that would be interesting to discuss. Is that homosexuality choices?  To find the answer, we would like to analyze the poem ‘Hurt to be Gay’, and how this poem is pictured a gay feeling.
First, before we continue our discussion in analyzing the poem, let us define what homosexuality is. According to the formal definition by Merriam–Webster, the term homosexual is defined as “of, relating to, or characterized by a tendency to direct sexual desire toward another of the same gender.” Based on the history of homosexuality, gay or lesbian will define themselves into two categories. First, the fact that homosexuality is immutable and cannot be changed, so that people must accept it. Second, homosexuality is a choice, therefore they must identified themselves as homosexual since they feel not belong to heteresexual, not belong to feminist or masculinist either. The narrator case at the poem ‘hurt to be gay’, tend to the first concept that homosexuality is immutable and cannot be changed so that he must accept it. Is he happy accept the reality that he is homosexual? First stanza, shows that the narrator protests about the reality. We can feel strong emotion from the lines first line ‘You talk shit about "them people". The word ‘you’ here directed to them people who curse gay people (‘them people’). The narrator using ‘them people’ as plural means that not only him who got cursed from the society but also other gay men. He continues second and third line ‘You say they aren't really people’/’You think it's abomination’. The narrator shows strong anger towards society and emphasizes the word ‘abomination’ as they are always being hatred by the society. Actually, based on narrator point of view, being gay is so painful, they got oppressed, they got injustice, and they do not get the same rights. It proves from the line ‘Do you even have a remote idea of how much that hurts?’/’ That you and everyone else oppress them’/’Slowly society takes their reason to live’. These lines depicted how cruel are the society act towards gay people. As human nature, of course we want to live comfortably and happily when the society accepts our existence. However, gay people do not get the comfortable in live because the religion and norm denied their existence. In short, the whole first stanza is showing the anger towards society. In addition, the intention of the narrator wants to show us that ‘them’ (gay men) have to burden the cruelty because they are different.
At the second stanza, the narrator tries to ask question ‘Have you ever wondered’/’What you would do,’/ ‘if I turned out to be’/’like the way they are?’. It means that how if he reveals the truth if he turns to be like them (gay men)? He states gay men felling are pure, clear, and strong, but the society judge them as wrong. Here, the injustice show really clear, because the society see at them just from one point of view, never considered how if they become part of them. He also ask question, how if he tells the truth toward the society if he is a gay. Maybe he would get what gay men get that has been explained in the previous paragraph. Otherwise, it could be he being hatred by the society. Everything will be changed, so that maybe it would be better if he continues to live in lies and never reveal the truth. However, that is not the solution, because the narrator has to burden the pain when the society judges them ‘how repulsive and sinful they are’. Then the narrator protest shows in lines ‘How ignorant and barbaric does it sound?’/‘To punish and individual and put them down’/’just for being who they are’. How pity his live because he never has braveness to show his identity so that he continues live in lies maybe until he died. The fact, based on the narrator point a view, being gay is not choices. Look at the third stanza ‘It is not a choice’/ ‘if it was, I'd be an imbecile’/ ‘to have chosen a life’/ ‘that is only filled with the most abominable hardships’. He strongly states that it not a choice, if gay is choice how stupid he is has to choose the live that hard to burden. These lines also show strong desire that he wants to be normal. Live as normal people, being happy not got abominable hardship in life. The strong reason why the narrator keeps the secret about his sexual orientation because the society strongly forbidden their existence, that’s why it would be better if his identity still keep.
Two last stanzas, the narrator wanted to show us that he does not want become a gay. However, he cannot denied when he realize that he is a gay. He just afraid and wonder if he reveals his identity, is that society will be accepted him? These fears make him write to emphasize that he does not want to be gay ‘Understand that this is not the way I wanted to be’. In our opinion, this line is such a command toward society who treats the gay men badly to accept his existence. Being a gay is not his choices, and not what he wanted, so being a gay is not his fault. That’s why the society should be accepted them and don’t treat them like allien. Last stanza, mostly give the society message through beautiful words and we still feel strong emotion through the message of the last stanza. The narrator got all the hardships because he is different from other society who lives normal when they follow the rule about heteronormativity, but they never considered if the things turn out. When the homosexuality accepted in the society and heteronormativity will assume as wrong and ‘abnormal’. The narrator gives us message that do not judge them (gay men) from one point of view because they also does not want choose live like that. The narrator wanted that someday, gay men will accepted in the society and have the same right as normal people, but he has to wait. Until the day come, he chooses hidden his identity.
In conclusion, we cannot deny about the existence of LGBTQ as the result of gender diversity. From the poem entitled ‘Hurt to be Gay’, give us understanding that being a gay is not choices. In addition, according to the American Psychology Association, one’s sexual orientation is not adopted via an individual’s choice, but rather develops as a result of “cognitive and biological factors” as well as by interacting with the surrounding environment (homosexual.com). The narrator shows a gay felling how painful knowing that he is a gay and being hatred by the society. This poem also depicted how the society judge and treat them so badly, so that the narrator afraid when he wants to reveal the truth. He is afraid that society does not accept him. A gay also want to be normal, live normal as people do. Therefore the narrator gives message to all of us to not take their chance to live happily and comfortably just because they are different. They are also human that have the same rights whether he is homosexual or heterosexual. In addition, become homosexual not fully individual fault but also the society and family environment who construct gender identity. We live in worldwide which full of diversity, it is one of reasons we should accept their (LGBTQ) diversity.

References:
Clarke V., Ellis S.J., Peel Elizabeth, Riggs D.W. (2010). Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Trans and Queer Psychology. United States: Cambridge University Press.
 Hawkesworth, Mary. 1997. Confounding gender. Signs, 22(3): 649-685
 http://ezinearticles.com/?Gender-Construction&id=389642
http://lisahwarren.hubpages.com/hub/Why-Do-Gays-and-Lesbians-Think-Society-Should-Accept-Them




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